Are You A Mean One, Mr. Grinch!?

  (Not my photo)

We live in a very critical world and people can be downright, hateful. If you handle a situation differently than someone else, you did it wrong. Never mind if they have never experienced the same situation, it’s what they would have done so it’s what YOU should have done. If it is anything I have learned over the last ten years, especially the last three or so, is there is NO perfect way.

I may be a special needs/medical Mom, however, I don’t feel that my hard is any harder than anyone else’s. We are all built differently. We have diverse approaches and handle things at varying capacities. What one may find extremely challenging, another may find it as no obstacle at all.

Let’s talk grief for a moment. How do you grieve a loss? What are the rules? How long should it last? Do you cry? Does crying mean you care or that you’re weak? Do you not shed a tear? Does that make you calloused or strong? Do you talk about it or ignore it? Do you allow it to impact your daily life? Do you mourn for a short time and resume your previously normal existence as if it never happened? I mean, you can’t change it so you should just move on and upward, right? NO! No, no, no, no, NO!

NO ONE gets to tell, judge or decide how someone feels or should feel. Don’t get me wrong, there are clearly unhealthy ways to cope. Still then, why wouldn’t you offer support and encourage someone to seek alternate ways to handle their loss instead of chastising them for how they are choosing to manage? No one is without flaws. If someone asks for your support or advice, they are demonstrating vulnerability. When showing true support of someone, should it include comments that involve the word “I”? If someone asks, “what would you do?”, is it REALLY about what YOU would do if it’s not happening TO YOU? Maybe you could share what you would do, but in the end, encourage them to do what is best for THEM. Under no circumstances should you ridicule someone or condemn how they handled THEIR personal experience. If there's anything I have learned over the last ten years, especially the last three or so, is there is NO perfect way.

Disagreeing on how a situation is handled will have people acting uncivil. Standing up for yourself or speaking your mind because you were raised to not be run over or treated with disrespect or because you were treated poorly in the past and refuse to now be ignored or have your feelings discounted, does NOT justify your reacting disrespectfully. You can get a point across without being rude and patronizing. Treating someone in the same way you have been and refuse to be treated because you felt you were wronged; you are doing exactly to someone else what you didn't like done to you. Read that again, I'll wait. #ipitythefool

If you just don't get it, then please explain, and you help me understand, how an ill-mannered response is acceptable. Two wrongs don't make a right and can ultimately mean that in the future, you aren't apprised of information or situations at all.

Pick and choose your battles carefully. When a person has reached their limit with another's blatant bad manners, it could very well mean there are no additional chances. You don't always get a re-do so be sure you're standing up for yourself is worth the risk.....and consequences.