Please Don’t Pet My Peeves
Just a few unsolicited suggestions regarding communication.
When seeking recommendations for a service:
The majority of people need to stay within their budget, With that said, refrain from using the following phrases: “that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg”, “that won’t break the bank”, “that isn’t priced outrageous”, “not looking to pay someone’s mortgage for the month”.
I say this because your arm and leg may or may not be worth the same as someone else’s extremities. It may cost $4 or $4,000 to break someone’s bank. Outrageous to you, may be economical from someone else. Not looking to pay someone’s mortgage…..well, that’s just rude sarcasm, any way you look at it. People are going to recommend their favorite people or companies when you ask. Different people of different lifestyles and incomes. It could mean that none, some or all recommended are within your budget.
The majority of people need to stay within their budget, With that said, refrain from using the following phrases: “that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg”, “that won’t break the bank”, “that isn’t priced outrageous”, “not looking to pay someone’s mortgage for the month”.
I say this because your arm and leg may or may not be worth the same as someone else’s extremities. It may cost $4 or $4,000 to break someone’s bank. Outrageous to you, may be economical from someone else. Not looking to pay someone’s mortgage…..well, that’s just rude sarcasm, any way you look at it. People are going to recommend their favorite people or companies when you ask. Different people of different lifestyles and incomes. It could mean that none, some or all recommended are within your budget.
What is a better way to ask the question? Simply say, I am looking for recommendations for “X” (type of service). You can then reach out to those people and ask about pricing and choose who fits your budget. Companies and people charge the amount that they think they are worth, what they find to be competitive and to cover overhead. You may not agree with their price but if they have been in business for a while, someone does think their price is acceptable.
When seeking a job or a career:
If you see a social media post of someone hiring, read the post. If the post advises “send resume to abc123@company.com”, don’t leave a comment saying “interested”. If the post advises “call First Name Last Name at 662-123-4567”, do not text the number. Some companies still have landline phone lines so you could be texting a non-texting number! If it does happen to be a cell number, the post reads C-A-L-L. Follow instructions and call, don’t text. If the post includes “send resume to” or “call”, don’t message the poster on social media. Often people will put certain instructions in a hiring post to simply see WHO can and will follow instructions.
When completing a job application, it is not proper to leave anything blank. The only exception would be areas where you list job or residential history that offers more areas than jobs or places you have lived. Read the instructions and follow them! If you cannot remember dates, addresses, phone numbers, take the application home and get the information. DO NOT write “unknown” or “I don’t know” or “I cannot remember”. With most reputable companies this will get your application thrown out or put on the bottom.
Do not complete an application with a pencil or marker. If you are of the age to be employed, you are no longer in kindergarten; USE A PEN. Use a pen with blue or black ink. That means no red ink, no green ink, no glittery or metallic purple ink. You aren’t in junior high or taking notes in college either. The same goes for forms used for new hire paperwork. These are legal and professional forms so be professional.
When you do have a job, unless your supervisor has advised that texting is ok, don’t.
When you are unable to come to work, don’t text. It is called “CALLING” in sick or “CALLING” out for a reason, not texting in sick or texting out. It’s unprofessional regardless of the type of job you have.
If your manager is ok with texting, use proper grammar. Refrain from using abbreviations or slang. Don’t send a text that says, “Gonna B L8 2day sry”. It’s unprofessional. Don’t communicate this way in work emails either.
When offering your condolences:
Do not use cliches such as, “they are in a better place”. In reality, maybe they are but the person(s) grieving their loss is devastated. They don’t want to hear that their loved one is “better off”, “you’ll get through this” or “everything happens for a reason”. Again, this may be true, but it is not comforting. Don’t say, “I know how you feel” because no, no you don’t. You may have a similar story or experience, but it is NOT THE SAME and this is not about you. If you REALLY want to know what not to say or TO SAY, google it and be prepared.
Do not ask “what happened?”. If the friend or family member doesn’t say how someone died, there could be a reason. That reason is only for them to know. When someone experiences a death, it shouldn’t matter what happened. Someone has lost a child, a mother or father, brother or sister, cousin, best friend…..the HOW won’t bring the person back and could depress someone further if they feel they have to explain. If you do not know what to say, just say you’re sorry for their loss and you are thinking (or praying for) them.
Do not rush someone’s grief process. Do not tell them to stop crying. Do not tell them it’s time to move on. Do not tell them to get over it. Do not tell them enough time has passed. Do not tell them that time heals. There is no timeline for grief.

When seeking a job or a career:
If you see a social media post of someone hiring, read the post. If the post advises “send resume to abc123@company.com”, don’t leave a comment saying “interested”. If the post advises “call First Name Last Name at 662-123-4567”, do not text the number. Some companies still have landline phone lines so you could be texting a non-texting number! If it does happen to be a cell number, the post reads C-A-L-L. Follow instructions and call, don’t text. If the post includes “send resume to” or “call”, don’t message the poster on social media. Often people will put certain instructions in a hiring post to simply see WHO can and will follow instructions.
When completing a job application, it is not proper to leave anything blank. The only exception would be areas where you list job or residential history that offers more areas than jobs or places you have lived. Read the instructions and follow them! If you cannot remember dates, addresses, phone numbers, take the application home and get the information. DO NOT write “unknown” or “I don’t know” or “I cannot remember”. With most reputable companies this will get your application thrown out or put on the bottom.
Do not complete an application with a pencil or marker. If you are of the age to be employed, you are no longer in kindergarten; USE A PEN. Use a pen with blue or black ink. That means no red ink, no green ink, no glittery or metallic purple ink. You aren’t in junior high or taking notes in college either. The same goes for forms used for new hire paperwork. These are legal and professional forms so be professional.
When you do have a job, unless your supervisor has advised that texting is ok, don’t.
When you are unable to come to work, don’t text. It is called “CALLING” in sick or “CALLING” out for a reason, not texting in sick or texting out. It’s unprofessional regardless of the type of job you have.
If your manager is ok with texting, use proper grammar. Refrain from using abbreviations or slang. Don’t send a text that says, “Gonna B L8 2day sry”. It’s unprofessional. Don’t communicate this way in work emails either.
When offering your condolences:
Do not use cliches such as, “they are in a better place”. In reality, maybe they are but the person(s) grieving their loss is devastated. They don’t want to hear that their loved one is “better off”, “you’ll get through this” or “everything happens for a reason”. Again, this may be true, but it is not comforting. Don’t say, “I know how you feel” because no, no you don’t. You may have a similar story or experience, but it is NOT THE SAME and this is not about you. If you REALLY want to know what not to say or TO SAY, google it and be prepared.
Do not ask “what happened?”. If the friend or family member doesn’t say how someone died, there could be a reason. That reason is only for them to know. When someone experiences a death, it shouldn’t matter what happened. Someone has lost a child, a mother or father, brother or sister, cousin, best friend…..the HOW won’t bring the person back and could depress someone further if they feel they have to explain. If you do not know what to say, just say you’re sorry for their loss and you are thinking (or praying for) them.
Do not rush someone’s grief process. Do not tell them to stop crying. Do not tell them it’s time to move on. Do not tell them to get over it. Do not tell them enough time has passed. Do not tell them that time heals. There is no timeline for grief.

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