Tales From an Exhausted Medical Mama

  The hubs gave me quite the scare last Tuesday (2/8).  When everything happened, I barely had time or sense to contact his family by the time I had gotten to the hospital.  At that point, I really didn't know what was goin on, exactly and I was very anxious to see him.  Once inside the hospital I could NOT make a phone call and my texts would barely get out. Hubs got very hot/sweaty and woozy that morning at work. He went into his boss's office to sit down and soon after the right side of his face went numb and his left hand clenched into a fist on its own. He started having trouble breathing and his chest was hurting (not tight, just hurt). I was on my way to get him and called to check on him and he couldn't talk. I spoke to one of his coworkers who said he was really starting to have trouble breathing and thought they should call an ambulance so I asked them to please do so and I would meet them at the hospit...

  The holidays were.....the holidays.  Nothing special, not much to report.  I am basically just glad they are over. I did get a nice little surprise and early Christmas gift from the hubbs.  1994 Jeep Wrangler YJ, 10 1/2 inch lift and 35 inch "tars".  This is by no means a luxury riding vehicle.  Get in, sit down, buckle up, hang on and prepare for mud!!!  I can't wait to play in the dirt this spring.

  a box of chocolates.  You never know what you're going to get. I believe that if you do not take care of yourself, you eventually become no good at taking care of anyone else or anything.  With that being said, does this mean that you put yourself first?  Sometimes?  Always?  I am interested in knowing to what degree you put yourself before others, specifically your children. Where is the fine line between supporting and enabling?  Is it wrong to keep your distance from or favor someone less because of their inability to make rational decisions or positive, beneficial life choices?  If in your opinion those who have made poor choices, resulting in their inability to properly care for their family as a whole leaves you emotionally exhausted. When is it “ok” to butt in?  When does it become acceptable to interfere in someone else’s business?  Is it when someone directly involved informs you of some...

or read it? What's your preference? I started reading a lot again about a year ago. It's amazing what you quit doing when you become busy with everyday life. It’s been nice to finally get in the groove of things after getting married and to again, find that little bit of peaceful time for myself that I get when I read. I tried desperately, several times, to read The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. B-O-R-I-N-G !!!!! I was told that if you can make it to the middle of the book, it becomes much more interesting. I didn’t make it. I watched the movie. Rather, I read the movie. I had no idea when I rented it for $1 from Redbox that it was a Swedish film, subtitled in English. It wasn’t so bad that it kept me from adding the second of the trilogy, The Girl Who Played With Fire to my Netflix queue. Surprisingly, it had been dubbed in English. WOOT! WOOT! It sorta reminded me of the old, Planet of the Apes shows. The mouth moves and the voice is off and delayed. It was stil...

I wish that life were simple, all the time. That's just too much to ask for huh? The last week has been very trying for me. The past few months have been hectic with work, moving, the kids....LIFE. Life keeps me busy! Too bad you can't take a vacation from it. I've been having a pity party for the last week. Last night I came across something and after reading it, I cried. I apologized silently for feeling so sorry for myself. Things may not have been going "my way" or going a good way for a hot minute but there are so many who really do have more of a legitimate reason to belly ache and be in the dumps. There are some folks that are not involved in my life directly experiencing trials and some that are actively involved who are living through some rough spots. I can't help but feel for them all in some way. Some of them I am not even fond of! I guess when it comes down to it, my heart does what's right after all.

So much has changed in the last several years. I think out of all the things that have been sacraficed, changed or have been lost, I miss myself the most. I miss writing. I miss being creative. I miss having the compelling urge to "make something" from nothing. I stopped journaling because I lacked the time. I have now decided to MAKE time because it kept me sane. I need my full level of sanity back. I need the lost pieces of me back.