Tales From an Exhausted Medical Mama

You’re going to be jealous and wish you had my life if you read this. I’m just warning you now.  I started feeling bad Sunday. Yesterday, I spent the majority of the day in bed and made a doc appointment for today. I knew I had head congestion and ear aches like always with a sinus infection but this time was a lot more pressure and my upper teeth hurt. My throat was sore but in a different way than it is from drainage and I just felt so weak, dizzy and plain miserable. I saw my amazing Nurse Practitioner this morning and the verdict was: Flu A + Sinusitis Lungs mostly clear  Red ears and my right ear drum is bulging  Red throat  Strep negative COVID negative I got a sinus cocktail and antibiotic shot as well as a script for antibiotics to take for 10 days. Woo Hoo! I do have less pressure now as I type this and I can partially breathe through my nose now so that’s a plus. This is only the second time in my fittywon years that I’ve had the flu! I’m not thankful for t...

  If you have followed along and read my posts, you will know that I often use a word and its definition. It is partially a reminder of a word’s meaning as well as a discovery of how one simple word means much more than the meaning in which we generally associate it with. For the last couple of years, I have been struggling with the word PURPOSE. Specifically, what is mine? My life has taken so many twists and turns that I have chronic, ambition vertigo. I find it hard to accept that my sole purpose is to have become Mini Mayhem’s mother and to care for her to the end of my earthly days. Now before you try to come at me sideways, I know this is an important role which I love and do not take lightly. I am responsible for another human who will be solely dependent on me, forever . I believe we have multiple purposes in life. Some are meant to be long term while others are merely short term. I feel as if I have lost brain power from not utilizing it. I play games on my phone that requ...

  The last few years, I have noticed a drastic change with the increase in gray hair and wrinkles. I am also tired a lot but come to find out that could be because my iron is low. 😩 Some days it just all catches up and I do not want to do even one single thing, NOTHING but lay in bed with the covers over my head and pretend.  Pretend that I am not a mother with responsibilities.  Pretend that there aren't meds to be refilled or to keep up with, which of the 12 need to be called in to which of the two pharmacies.  Pretend I don't need to update the paperwork required for the nursing agency that lists all doctor visits and reasons for going and outcomes.  Pretend I don't need to update the seizure tracker.  Pretend I don't need to follow up for the second time on the message sent to one of the 15 specialists two weeks prior.   To pretend to not need to make sure we are on schedule for diaper delivery. for feeding supplies and formula. Pretend to no...

  What do you think of when you hear the word nourishment? I bet a few of the things you first thought of were food, health, nutrients, diet….. Nourishment noun the food or other substances necessary for growth, health, and good condition. Have you ever considered words as nourishment? Think about that for a moment. When people pay you a compliment, offer words of encouragement and motivation, does it not make you feel good? Those words are emotional nourishment feeding your self-esteem as well as your mental health.  How often do your words nourish? Do you speak words of sustenance or deprivation?  Do you say positive things to yourself? If not, you should. If you don't believe it, keep saying it until you do. Self-nourishment is self-care which should be a requirement, not an indulgence as so many would like to think of it. It is not selfish. No one would consider it selfish for you to drink 8 cups of water a day, eat a meal high in protein, read your Bible, read a book...

  I know that avoiding labels was and sometimes still is difficult for me. It took a long time before I responded to the question "Do you have children?" with a simple "Yes, one daughter." . I had felt the need to throw in "disabled" into the sentence and I wasn't exactly sure why. I wasn't wanting pity or sympathy. I wasn't using it as a display of an invisible badge of courage. I eventually realized that my daughter wasn't a label or a diagnosis. She was so much more but first and foremost; she was (is) my beloved daughter. How do you feel about labels?  How do you view those who label your child? #letstalkaboutit #navigatingtheignorance