The REAL Matthew Perry

I am attempting to read/listen to 24 books this year. I now have 23 to go.   

I finished listening to the audiobook Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry today. He was the narrator. I think that hearing him read his own words was far more impactful. It’s still hard to believe that he died last year. His death, it felt personal because of my love for the show, Friends.

Despite the massive success of Friends, Matthew Perry was unhappy, unsettled and self-destructive. Although being surrounded by everything he could possibly want; he remained on a hopeless path to annihilate himself. So many things he shared was heartbreaking. I will even admit that I cried a few times. It is upsetting to know that he experienced that much internal agony. He felt the only thing he could do was to temporarily and continuously suppress those unwanted feelings, with drugs and alcohol, meanwhile knowing it would likely (and almost did) destroy him.

• 1 liter + vodka a day.
• Upwards of 55 Vicodin a day.
• 60 detoxes.
• 15 stays in rehab.
• Dropped to an unhealthy weight of 128 lbs.
• Colon exploded because of opioid abuse.
• 5 minutes without a heartbeat during surgery and 8 broken rips from CPR.
• 14 days in a coma.
• 5 months in the hospital.
• 13 additional stomach surgeries followed.
• 2 ED visits for brutal abdominal pain from alcohol induced pancreatitis.
• $9 million spent over decades (25 years) trying to become sober.
• Bites into a piece of toast and ALL his top teeth fell out.
• Multiple dental surgeries afterward because none of his remaining teeth could be saved.

ALL because of a jet ski injury in 1996 while filming a movie. He was prescribed pain pills which progressed to addiction.

He was truly funny, but he also used his humor as a coping mechanism. The fame, the money, it was all worthless to a depressed man who practiced self-sabotaging behaviors. His battle with addiction was long but he did live to see the other side, sobriety.

“When [fame] happens, it’s kind of like Disneyland for a while. For me it lasted about eight months, this feeling of ‘I’ve made it, I’m thrilled, there’s no problem in the world.’ And then you realize that it doesn’t accomplish anything, it’s certainly not filling any holes in your life.” “I didn’t get sober because I felt like it. I got sober because I was worried I was going to die the next day.” – Matthew Perry to The New York Times in 2002.

If you plan to read his memoir and are expecting Chandler Bing, be prepared to be disappointed. You are getting Matthew Perry. He is raw, in your face, and shares honest to goodness truths of his lengthy struggle with alcohol, pills, lack of self-confidence and feelings of inadequacy.

It is worth the read/listen. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

A few of my favorite excerpts from the book:

“I watch the ocean ripple, slate gray the edgings of blue. I’ve always thought that the ocean mirrors the subconscious mind. There’s beauty but there’s something darker. Its size is what most calms me. Its size and it’s power. Big enough to get lost in forever. Strong enough to hold up great oil tankers. We are as naught compared to its vastness AND have you ever stood on the water's edge and tried to stop a wave? It goes on regardless of what we do, regardless of how hard we try. The ocean reminds us that we are powerless in comparison.” - Matthew Perry

“For a start, I’ve surrendered but to the winning side, not to the losing.” - Matthew Perry

“No drink, no drugs, no cigarettes. As I stand there, coffee in one hand and nothing in the other and watch the distant waves in the ocean, I realize that I’m feeling a wave of my own, inside me, gratitude.” - Matthew Perry

“I stand tall now, ready for whatever comes next. Someday, you too might be called upon to do something important, so be ready for it. And when whatever happens, just think, what would Batman do? and do that.” - Matthew Perry

📸Credit: David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images